I have a bankers box that I just brought into my apartment. It contains all the stuff that I wanted to take with me from my company (a small Obama Figurine, a shot glass gift from survivor location and few frames along with some honey and postcards) Going back to the office to help set up today was unexpected. I had really missed everyone including my close friends. I received genuine hugs and sincere smiles, it really touched my heart. Leaving that building this evening was very bitter sweet to the point where I teared a bit while on the 405.
I’ve made this decision. It was a very long and thought out decision for months.
I’m an adult. I’m not getting any younger.
I’m twenty-eight and I have an opportunity to do something humbling for a few weeks, something beyond me that wont pay my bills or is apart of my “life” plan that entails a mortgage. I have this practical view of life and it’s really about experiencing it as much as I can versus sitting around in life observing, dissecting, often criticizing. There is a definite fear of the unknown and I may fall flat on my face. These are the choices I’m making.
This year has been really shitty, I’ll be first to admit.
It’s taken every single breath, feeling and effort to get through it. When I felt that it couldn’t get any worse something out of my control happened and however much I hoped that things were different, they couldn’t and I had to learn to accept it. There’s a moment in a persons life were you’re sitting next to someone at the hospital getting preached about how fucking short life can be.
I’ve learned to understand my capabilities within and out and I’ve kept a running list of goals that, for the most part, has kept me on track. More than anything, it has awakened me to step out side of my comfort and leisureliness.